Dear Tom:

You and I knew a Grunt regimental commander who felt that he had powers unlimited in all areas. Do you remember the time he decided to go into the marriage counseling business?

A staff sergeant in his regiment was having difficulty with his wife, or she with him -- I never knew which. The regimental commander got wind of this rift and decided to settle things for them in a proper manner. He instructed the sergeant major to set an appointment for the two battling lovers to appear in his office for his sage advice.

The day came and the scene was in the regimental commander's spacious office. The colonel sat behind his desk. The sergeant major sat to the colonel's right. The staff sergeant and his wife sat, in separate chairs, in front of the CO's desk. The discussion was going along fairly well until one of the "adversaries" said something which angered the other. At that point, things began to fall apart.

Suddenly, Mrs. Staff Sergeant stood up, reached into her purse, withdrew a little, owl-head, .22 calibre revolver (Saturday Night Special), and shot her husband in the leg.

Everyone present jumped up and stood there in a state of shock. The wounded Marine staggered to the colonel's desk and leaned against it as he held his bleeding leg.

The colonel didn't know what to do. The wife was doing nothing further. The staff sergeant was making wounded noises, so the sergeant major figured he'd best attempt to gain control of the situation. But he evidently didn't quite know which steps to take, so he fell back on his 28 years of training.

Bringing himself to a military position of attention, he sharply addressed the wounded staff sergeant: "Sergeant! Stand at attention when you're before the regimental commander!"